Our Sister
by caro.cola9
Summary: Kali is the younger sister of Fili and Kili, and the niece of Thorin. When she joins them on their quest to reclaim Erebor, she is thrown into all kinds of danger. Will her brothers be able to protect her. I'm sorry, I suck at summaries. NO INCEST! I do not own the hobbit! If I did, Fili, Kili and Thorin would not have died.
1. Chapter 1

**This story takes place at the time of the quest. Fili is 82, Kili is 77, and Kali is 74. I actually looked this up, and this is actually how old they are during the quest. Dwarves just age slowly I guess. In this story, they are mentally teenagers.**

Chapter 1

"Who are we waiting for again?" Bilbo asked. The company had been waiting for this person for a few hours now. The other dwarves had set up camp in a clearing. Fili and Kili were on watch, while most of the others were taking this opportunity to rest. They had been waiting for so long Bilbo had began to think that this person wasn't going to show.

"Our sister." Fili and Kili answered in unison.

"Is she always late?" he asked.

"Sometimes." Kili replied.

"Have some patience Bilbo." Gandalf chuckled. Silence followed. It got to the point where even Gandalf himself dozed off.

Not long after, the company heard howling coming from the North. The sleeping dwarves jolted awake and hastily drew their weapons. For a moment, no one dared to breathe. There was a snarl from above. Just as the warg was about to pounce, a silver-sleek dagger embedded itself between the over-sized wolf's eyes. Everyone whipped their heads into the direction of the wielder. Fili, Kili, and even Thorin smiled.

The girl wore a hood that covered everything above her nose, but she had light pink thin lips with a light splash of freckles. She wore a dark brown dress that stopped just above her knees and a dark cloak covered her silvery shoulder plates. Under her dress, she wore dark pants and brown leather boots that hugged her calves and came up to just a little below her knees. A sword hung at her belt, as well as more throwing knives.

"You're late." Kili said, going up to hug her.

"Looks like I got here just in time." She smirked, pulling her hood back and returning the embrace. She had bright blue eyes and an oval shaped face. Her hair was the perfect mix between blonde and brown, and pulled into a loose braid that fell just below her stomach. Fili went up to embrace her, which she gladly returned.

"Sure took you long enough." Fili joked.

"What kept you?" Thorin asked.

"Warg pack picked up my scent. I took care of most of them, but a few of them," She explained, retrieving her knife and motioning to the dead warg. "got away and probably picked up on your scents."

"Sorry to interrupt, " Bilbo cut in, "but who is this?"

"Sorry, I guess introductions are in order." Kili said. "To those of you who don't know, this is our little sister,"

"Kali." She finished, smacking Kili upside the head.

Fili introduced her to all the dwarves.

Kali looked at Bilbo. "What's a hobbit doing this far from the shire?"

Everyone but Gandalf looked a little surprised, especially Bilbo. "How did you-"

"I've been to the Shire before." Kali shrugged.

"When was this?" Fili asked, incredulous.

"That's for me to know, and you to never find out." Kali teased. Then she asked, "Out of curiosity, when are we getting back on the road?"

"We made camp here for the night, lass." Dwalin told her.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She cautioned.

"Why?" Someone asked.

"While I was on my way here," Kali started. "I saw a large orc pack a few leagues out. I watched them split up into smaller groups."

"What do you mean _split up_?" Someone asked.

"Don't interrupt me again and you'll find out." She snapped. "Anyway, I encountered one of the smaller groups. I took care of most of them for the most part, but a few," she paused, motioning to the dead warg, "got away. I don't think even orcs so dense as to travel too far apart."

Thorin took this into consideration. "I understand your concern, but we will remain here until first light." he decided. "Nori, take the first watch" Thorin continued, cutting off his nieces protests.

Kali knew better than to question her uncles final decision. With a huff, she rolled out her sleeping mat next to her brothers, but didn't fall asleep for awhile. She clearly didn't like waiting around while orcs could easily ambush them in the night.

"You alright darling?" Kili asked as he and Fili sat next to her.

"I'm fine." She replied.

"You sure?"

"Yes." she reassured. They didn't look convinced. "You two haven't gotten into too much trouble while I've been gone have you?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Now whatever makes you think that?" Kili mocking surprise.

"I can think of quite a few times."Kali smirked.

"Name one of them." Fili insisted.

"That time in the Blue Mountains when you both set Mama's stove on fire." Kali recalled, laughing at the memory.

 _Kali is 10, Kili is 12, and Fili is 15_

Kali had just come back from her friends house, and immediately wished she hadn't. She watched as her brothers tried to put out the fire on their mother's stove.

"What did you both do?!" She exclaimed as she turned on the sink and started to fill up a bowl. "I was only gone for a 2 hours!"

"Nothing!" Fili yelled back.

Kali dumped a bowl on the stove and the fire went out. "Well obviously you two did something!" she scolded as she put her hands on her hips.

Fili and Kili's shoulders slumped. "Mama's gonna kill us." Kili sighed.

With the face he made, Kali couldn't stay mad at him. Her face softened. "I'll help you both clean up this mess." She sighed.

Their faces brightened and they both hugged her. "You're the best Ka!"

"I know, I know. Now start working!" she smirked.

20 minutes later, the kitchen was somewhat clean. The trio did everything they could, but you could still see happened. Knowing they all would be in trouble, they climbed the stair and waited for their mother to return. Dis walked through the door not 10 minutes later.

"Fili, Kili Kali!" Dis called, not sounding angry in the slightest.

The trio shared a look. She hadn't seen the kitchen yet. Then it came.

"FILI, KILI, KALI!" Dis bellowed. "GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

The 3 of them slowly descended down the stair, and prepared for the scolding. They practically cringed when her yelling started. Needless to say, Fili, Kili, and Kali were grounded for weeks.

 _Flashback ends_

The trio burst into laughter. Then they remembered that there were people trying to sleep, and snickered instead.

"I just didn't understand why _I_ got in trouble. I didn't do anything." Kali whispered, still snickering. Her brothers only shrugged.

"You got off easy compared to us." Fili commented.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Kali yawned. Fili and Kili smiled at their sister.

"You should get some sleep love." Kili said. Kali hardly argued with him. She lay down, and soon fell into the world of dreams.

 **Heyyy. First chapter's up! What do you think? I did some more research, and turns out Thorin is 195! Only constructive criticism please.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Something was wrong. She could feel it in the air, and tell from her surroundings. She was in a forest, somewhere completely unfamiliar to her. There were no birds chirping, no animal noises; she could not even feel a breeze.

"Kali." A vioce whispered. Kali spun around, but no one was there. The voice belonged to a woman, and it sounded dreamy and far off.

"Who's there?" Kali called out. When she got no answer, she assumed she was hearing things. Then she heard it again.

"Kali." It whispered again.

When she spun around, she was in a different place. Instead of the forest, she was in cave. She instantly noticed the smell and gagged. Looking around, she saw small piles of gold, old bones with dried blood on them, and stands full of web-covered weapons. One particular weapon caught her attention.

The sword had a silver-steel hilt with a blue gem in the center and a simple leather grip. The blade itself was a few feet long. The main material was silver with a gold line going up the middle and stopping about halfway to the swords' tip.

As soon as her fingers made contact with the hilt, a surge of power rushed through her veins. A power that she had never felt before. Kali dropped the sword as if it was hot metal.

"Kali." The voice said. The world around her started to shake as she was pulled out of the world of dreams. Then louder, "KALI!"

* * *

Kali bolted up right, head knocking Fili in the process.

"By Durin." He said, rubbing his now bruised forehead.

"What's going on?" she asked, putting a hand to her forehead.

"We're getting back on the road, remember?" he said, the _duh_ tone clear in his voice.

"Right. Sorry." She apologized. Kali quickly rolled up her bedroll and shoved it back in her pack. Since she woke up later than everyone else did, she had to eat her breakfast on the pony.

Although she payed attention to her surroundings, her mind frequently went back to the strange dream. Where was that cave, and what that sword?

"Miss Kali?" someone asked, interrupting her thoughts. She recognized it as Bilbo's voice.

"Just Kali please." She replied, turning around and smiling at the hobbit. "What can I help you with?"

"Out of curiosity, why did we have to meet you at the clearing rather than you joining from the beginning?" he asked.

"I was wondering when someone was going to ask me about that." Kali muttered. Then she answered louder, "I was visiting a friend who lives a few days north of here when I got Thorin's message about the quest. I sent back a message that I was more than happy to join the quest, and that I would meet them at that clearing."

Bilbo nodded. Silence followed.

"So how was Mariana?" Kili asked, breaking the silence.

"She had quite a few suitors after her." Kali said, laughing. "But other than that, she was fine. Well, fine for her at least." Her brothers snorted a bit at that.

"Who's Mariana?" Bilbo asked.

"She's one of my closest friends. Her father is the leader of a small village not too far north. The village itself is actually becoming more powerful." She said.

"Don't tell Mariana I said this, but that dinky town? Really?" Fili doubted.

"Keep in mind that the last time you were there was like, 2 years ago." Kali reminded. Then she turned back to Bilbo. "So Bilbo, Gandalf tells me how you met the dwarves. How did that go down exactly?"

"They ate all the food in my pantry, trailed mud all over my carpet and destroyed the pluming in the bathroom!" he exclaimed.

"At least they didn't burn down the kitchen." Kali laughed.

"Kali don't you dare." Kili warned.

"What do you mean?" Bilbo asked.

She launched into the story. "Years ago in the Blue Mountains, I had just come back from a friend's house. I had been gone for only 2 hours, and I came back to Fili and Kili trying to put out a fire they had set to the stove."

"We didn't mean to!" Fili chimed in.

"After I helped put it out and clean up, we all got in so much trouble when Ma came home!" She laughed. Bilbo started snickering. Eventually, Fili and Kili started laughing as well.

"Sounds like quite an interesting childhood." Bilbo laughed.

"Indeed it was." Kali sighed. "What about you Mr. Baggins? Any interesting childhood stories you'd like to share?"

"Not really." The hobbit told her. "My childhood was quite boring."

Gandalf chuckled at that.

"Do you know something Gandalf?" Kali asked, intrigued. Some of the other dwarves perked their ears and became very interested in the story.

"As some of you may or may not know, I am a friend of Bilbo's family." The wizard started to explain. "Bilbo wasn't like most of the other hobbits. He was always running off to the borders of the Shire, returning late with fireflies."

"I didn't know you used to have an adventurous side." Bofur commented, earning a few laughs from the company. Bilbo made no comment.

After that, each dwarf took their turn telling hilarious stories from their childhood. The mood was light until the sky darkened and rain started to pour.

Kali pulled her hood over her head, slightly irritated. The last thing she needed was to get soaking wet without any sort of shelter or heat. She got cold very easily, and affected her in a bad way.

They rode for some time in silence, waiting for the rain to stop.

"You alright Kali?" Thorin asked with concern.

"I'm fine Uncle." she replied, making a conscious effort to keep her teeth from chattering. Nevertheless, her uncle did not believe her.

"Mr. Gandalf," Dori said, voice cutting through the silence. "Can't you do something about the deluge?"

Kali could imagine the wizard rolling his eyes. "It is only rain. It will continue raining until the rain stops. If you wish to change the weather of the world, then find another wizard."

"Are there any other wizards?" Bilbo asked curiously.

"There were five of us. The most powerful of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are two other blue wizards, though I can't remember their names." Gandalf answered.

"And who was the fifth?" Kali asked.

"Radagast, the Brown." The wizard replied.

"Is he a great wizard, or his he more like you?" the halfling asked. Kali bit back a snicker at Bilbo's question.

"I think he's a very great wizard in his own way." Gandalf replied, obviously offended. "He is a kind soul that prefers the company of animals to people. He keeps a watchful eye over the Greenwood. For evil will always look to find a foothold in this world."

No one really talked much after that. Kali was shivering like mad. And it didn't go unnoticed by her brothers.

"You alright love?" Kili asked, looking very worried as he rode next to her.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Darling," Fili stated, coming up on her other side. "Your lips are literally the color of lilacs."

"I said I'm fine." She said through gritted teeth. They still didn't believe her. The two boys tried offering her their cloaks, but she refused, knowing they were just as cold. Eventually, they just gave up, knowing their sister wouldn't budge on this.

They rode in silence for a long while. Kali was beyond relieved when the rain stopped. She was still shivering though. The sun was starting to set, and they needed to find a spot to camp. Quickly.

* * *

 **Second chapter's up! It took me a long time to do. What do you think? Any ideas for the next chapter? Only constructive criticism please!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It didn't take long for the dwarves to find a spot. It was kind of like a cave with only a back wall and a small roof. Next to the cave was a small cliff with a grassy area off to the side. There was enough space for the dwarves and even the ponies could get some rest.

The trio had the first watch. Kali sat close to the fire, desperate for any heat. It was comforting to her. Someone draped a blanket around her shoulders.

"Feel better darling?" Kili asked as he sat down next to her.

"Yeah, thank you." She replied gratefully.

"So you want to tell us what was bothering you earlier?" Fili asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Something was bothering you earlier." He explained, raising an eyebrow.

"How could you tell?" Kali sighed. She hated the fact that he knew when something was bothering her.

"Brotherly instinct." Fili smirked. "Now will you tell us?"

"It was dream." She explained. Her brothers looked at her, wanting her to continue. "It was in a cave. A very stinky one, filled with old bones and weapons covered in cobwebs. There was one sword that kind of called out to me. When I grasped its hilt, I felt a power I have never felt before coursing through my veins. I have no idea what it means." She finished, looking at her brothers.

Her brothers shared a look, not knowing what to think. Finally, Kili said something.

"It was just a dream, Ka." He reassured. "Don't think about it too much."

Kali nodded and said nothing. A high-pitched screech pierced the air, putting Kali on alert. It sounded far off, but she had a feeling she knew what it was.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked, he too on alert.

"Orcs." Kali answered. This did not put the hobbits mind at ease.

"Orcs?!" He said with a hint of panic in his voice.

"There'll be dozens of them out there." Fili said in a calm manner. Kali caught his eyes and saw a hint of mischief. She knew what he was trying to do.

"They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep." Kali added.

"Quick and quiet. No screams." Kili said. "Just lots of blood."

Bilbo had a look of fear on his face. The trio looked at each other and chuckled.

"You think that's amusing?" Thorin asked, voice cutting off their chuckles. "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it Uncle." Kali apologized.

"You know nothing of the world." He snapped, walking to the edge of the cliff.

The trio instantly felt terrible. They knew orcs were nothing to joke about, especially when their uncle was around.

"Don't mind him lads, lass." Balin advised. "Your uncle has more cause than most others to hate orcs."

Kali rested her head against Kili's shoulder. She knew this story by heart. Bilbo looked curious to the story.

"After the dragon took Erebor, Thror tried to take back the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria." Balin started, a grave and sad look coming on his face "But the enemy had gotten there first. Legions of orcs, led by the most vile and evil of them all: Azog the Defiler. The Pale Orc had sworn to wiped out the line of Durin. He began by," Balin paused a moment, "beheading the King."

"Thorin's father, Thrain, went missing. Captured or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us."

Then Balin gave a small smile. "That is when I saw him. A young dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc. He stood alone against the foul creature. His armor gone, leaving him with nothing but an oaken branch as a shield."

"Azog the Defiler learned a valuable lesson that day. That the line of Durin would not be so easy to exterminate. Our forces rallied, and we managed to drive the enemy back."

The tone turned sad again. "But there was no feast, nor song that night. Our dead were beyond the count of grief. The few of us survived."

"And I thought to myself that day there is one I could follow. There is one I could call king." Balin finished. The dwarves, who had previously been sleeping, were now wide awake and looking at their leader in awe. They had never heard the story in such detail before.

"What happened to the Pale Orc?" Bilbo asked. Kali wanted to know as well.

"He slunk back into the where he came. He died of his wounds long ago." Thorin spat, rejoining the group. This seemed to put the halflings mind at ease.

"Kali," Kili started, looking at his little sister. He then stopped when he saw she had dozed off. Kili gently laid her down on her bedroll and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Sleep well little sister." He whispered. He then let sleep over take him as he lay on his own bedroll.


	4. Chapter 4: Trollshow Part 1

**I'm back! Sorry about the wait. I had a bit of a writers block at the beginning. I knew what this chapter was going to be about, I just didn't know exactly how to put it.**

 **scwv03: That's a good idea! I can imagine the dwarves faces already. :)**

 **to the other reviews, thank you, and I'm glad you like my story;) Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 4: Trollshow Part 1

They came to a halt at an old, abandoned farmhouse. It was literally falling apart. Kali was starting to get a bad feeling about this place. However, Thorin seemed to think it was a good spot to make camp.

"Fili, Kili, Kali," he said. "Keep an eye on the ponies. Do not leave them."

As soon as he was out of earshot, Kali groaned. "Is this our punishment for what happened yesterday?"

Fili chuckled. "Probably."

As the trio gathered the ponies, they could hear a conversation going on between the wizard and their uncle. It didn't sound good.

"I did not think it was yours to give." Thorin shot at the wizard. The entire company's attention was on them both, but shifted to Gandalf as he stormed away.

"Gandalf?" Bilbo asked. "Where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one whose got any sense around here." He snapped.

"And who's that?"

"Myself master Baggins!" He yelled. Then muttered, "I've had enough of dwarf for one day."

There were hushed whispers as the wizard mounted his horse and left the company.

"Is he going to come back?" Kali whispered to her brothers. Fili and Kili shrugged and returned to the task they were given. As the other dwarves began setting up camp for the night, the trio led the ponies to a small, semi-fenced in area not far from the others.

She climbed up one of the trees and laid back on one of the branches. From the branch she was on, she could clearly see all of the ponies and both of her brothers.

Fili glanced up at his sister and elbowed Kili. The boys smirked, picked up a pinecone, and chucked it at their sister. Kali yelped in surprise and almost fell off the branch. As she regained her balance, she shot them the evil eye.

"We can have you falling asleep now darling." her eldest brother laughed along with the other. Kali suddenly got an idea and smirked evilly. Still smirking, she bent down and scooped up two large pinecones and covered each in mud. Her brothers backed away, mocking fear.

"Now now Ka," Kili tried, eyes glued to her 'weapon' of choice. "Lets be reasonable here."

She chuckled darkly. "You should have thought of that before." She said before chucking both pinecones at each of her brothers. Kali doubled over, clutching her sides in laughter.

The she-dwarf was laughing so much that she didn't notice Fili behind her until a clump of dirt hit her back. Her laughter immediately stopped and was replaced by her brothers. "This is war!" She exclaimed. The trio then spent the next two or three hours throwing dirt and pinecones at each other, their task temporarily forgotten.

It wasn't until the sun had set and the trio was tiered that they remembered the task they were given. Fili, Kili and Kali trudged back where they had left the ponies and counted.

11, 12, ,13. Wait that's not right. Kali thought as a feeling of dread began settling in her stomach. She recounted the ponies again in panic. Her fears were confirmed. Glancing at both her brothers, she could tell they were thinking the same thing. The trio stood there for a good five minutes, not moving a muscle until Bilbo came up behind them, offering them three bowls of stew that Bomber had made.

"What's the matter?" The burglar asked once he saw their faces.

"We're supposed to watching the ponies." Kili said, not moving a muscle.

"Only we've encountered a slight problem." Kali added, glancing at the hobbit. "We had sixteen."

"Now there's fourteen." Fili finished.

They did another recount to find out which of the ponies were missing, and where they could have escaped from. Kali walked up to her brothers.

"Since he's our burglar," she whispered hopefully, "maybe he could help us find them before uncle finds out."

Her brothers nodded. "That's a good idea." Fili replied.

"Daisy and Bongo are missing." Kili identified.

"Well that's not good." Bilbo said. Then noticed a huge uprooted tree. "And that's not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"No!" The trio said in unison. The last thing they needed was their uncle to find out that they lost two of the ponies because they were playing around.

"Best not worry him." Fili added quickly. "As our official burglar, we thought you would want to look into it." Then he squinted at something. Kali followed his eyes.

"There's a light. Over there." She observed, pointing to it.

Bilbo and Kili's eyes moved to where she was pointing. As they stared at it a little more, they could hear faint voice snarling. A cold weight settled in the trios stomachs when they realized what it was.

"Whats that?" Bilbo asked, confused at what was making the noises.

"Trolls." Kili replied deadpan. With that, the trio left the halfling standing there aghast as they lept over the log to get a closer look. They were careful to stay out of sight.

Lumbering footsteps, snapping twigs, and the sound of panicked horses echoed to their left. Quickly ducking behind a tree, they saw one of the massive beasts carrying two ponies under his arms.

"He's got Myrtle and Misty!" Bilbo exclaimed as quietly as possible. "We've got to do something!"

Fili, Kili and Kali looked at him. "Yes, you should." Kili said, trading places with Bilbo. Bilbo didn't understand at first.

"Mountain trolls are slow and stupid," he said as Bilbo protested. "And you're small and quick. They'll never see you."

"It's perfectly simple." Kali reasoned as she took her bowl from him.

"If you run into trouble, hoot once like a barn owl, and twice like a brown owl." Fili finished as he took his own bowl. With that said, the three of them disappeared into the night.


	5. Chapter 5: Trollshow part 2

Trollshow Part 2

Fili had gone back to warn the others. Kili and Kali hid in the bushes as they watched Bilbo sneak around the three trolls. Kali was disgusted. She could smell their odor from her bush. As her eyes wandered around their little camp sight, they kept drifting to their cave. Something was drawing her to it. She couldn't place her finger on it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a squeal of pain. Turning her attention back to the situation at hand, she noticed Bilbo quietly moving towards backside of one of the trolls. Why is he- oh. That's why. She thought as she saw the knife.

"This is going to end badly." Kali muttered. And in the end, she was right. Just as Bilbo was about to

Her thoughts were interrupted by a squeal of pain. Turning her attention back to the situation at hand, she noticed Bilbo creeping ever closer to the knife. Just as he was about to succeed, the troll reached behind him. Kali stifled a laugh at Bilbo's face when the troll accidentally used him as a handkerchief.

Kili must have noticed this, because he elbowed her lightly in the ribs. He found the hobbit's face just as amusing as she did, but Bilbo had been caught. Their entire company could be compromised.

Kali lowered her head in shame. Her brother's eyes softened and he tilted her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eye. She nodded, slightly embarrassed.

The moment was ruined by one of the trolls. "Hover 'is toes over the fire. Make 'im squeal."

"How long does it bloody take to warn a company of 13 dwarves?" Kali muttered. She then looked at Kili. "Time to interfere?" she asked, readying her sword.

"I'd say it is." Kili smirked. The both of them then burst through the bushes and slashed at one of the monster's ankles. "Drop him!" Kili yelled.

"You what?" Another asked. Kali identified him as the leader.

"I said drop him." he repeated.

The leader threw poor Bilbo at Kili, knocking the dwarf off his feet. At that moment, the rest of the company burst through the trees, slashing and hacking away at the trolls. Kali helped her brother to his feet and dove out of the way from a troll's fist. Jumping back to her feet, she slashed at the hand. The monster roared in anger.

A huge fist encompassed her body and her feet dangled in the air. Using all her strength, Kali sank her teeth into the creature's hand. Once again she was dropped. Glancing once more at her surroundings, she noticed the company doing quite well against creatures that were literally four times their height. That was until she saw…

"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip 'is off!" The leader troll boomed. Kali felt sick, and it had nothing to do with the smell. Two of the trolls were holding Bilbo by the arms and legs. The hobbit looked terrified.

She looked at her uncle. She almost thought he would keep fighting. But instead, he threw his sword down. The company followed his lead, though reluctantly. Kali threw her weapon down, making her anger evident.

One by one, the three trolls picked each of the dwarves up and put them in oversized potato sacs. Those who weren't in sacs were tied to a spit.

As the three trolls discussed how they were going to cook the dwarves, Kali was silently fuming. Not at Bilbo or anyone in the company, but at herself. If she had just stayed on task and watched the ponies like she was told, none of this might have happened.

"Wait!" Bilbo's voice shouted. "You are making a horrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with the, they're halfwits!" Dori shouted from the spit.

"Halfwits? What does that make us?" Bofur yelled in response.

Bilbo ignored their protests. "A bit with the uh, with the seasoning." He offered.

This caught the "chef" of the three's attention. "What about the seasoning?"

"Well, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you place this lot up."

"Oh, like you smell so fine yourself, Master of Troll snot!" Kali yelled back at him. The other dwarves yelled other insults, traitor being the most common. A/N the line above does not belong to me. It belongs to TolkeinGeek1, I just found it absolutely hilarious.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" The leader asked skeptically.

"Shut up." The old troll snapped. "Let the uh, flubarbluberahobbit talk."

"The secret to cooking dwarf is, uh," the hobbit started.

"Come on, tell us the secret." The troll urged.

"Yes, I'm telling you the secret is," he continued. By this point, all the dwarves were looking at him. "Toooo skin them first!"

This cause an uproar from the company. They all shouted various insults, Dwalin's being the loudest, "I won't forget that!"

"Tom get me knife." The chef told the leader. Tom rolled his eyes.

"What a load of rubbish." He said, not convinced. "Scuff 'em I say. Boots and all."

"He's right," The scraggly one agreed. He strode over to the pile of dwarves, picking Bomber up and dangling him above his open jaw. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy."

"Wait, not that one!" Bilbo yelled frantically. "He's got worms in his tubes."

The troll instantly dropped Bomber like he was hot metal. Bomber landed with a thud on the other dwarves, who groaned in pain.

"In fact they all are infested with parasites. It's a nasty business. I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't." The hobbit continued. Something was up.

"Did he say parasites?" Oin asked.

"Yeah we don't have parasites!" Kili yelled. "You have parasites!"

Something was definitely off. She could imagine him rolling his eyes based on how his posture changed.

What are you up to Mr. Baggins? She wondered. Thorin beat her to figuring it out. Her uncle planted a hard kick in his nephews back. Kili shot him a look. At that moment, Kali realized what was going on. Bilbo was stalling.

"I have huge parasites!" Kali shouted, hoping the others would catch on.

Thankfully Oin did. "I have parasites as big me arm."

"No have the biggest parasites!" Kili joined in. The rest of the company had to, for they were all yelling similar statements.

"We're riddled."

"Yes, we are. Terribly."

But it was too late. The damage had been done. Mountain trolls were idiotic, but not that idiotic. The terrible trio of trolls all shared a look. Tom strode over and glared at Bilbo. He towered over the hobbit dramatically, and the halfling took a few steps back (or hopped, seeing as he was still in the sac.).

"What would you have us do then? Let 'em all go?" Tom glowered. Bilbo started to answer but was rudely cut off. "You think I don't know what you're playing at? This little ferret is taking us for fools!"

"Fools?" The cook echoed.

"Ferret?" Bilbo repeated, obviously offended.

"The dawn will take you all!" a deep voice boomed. Kali's head snapped in that direction and she beamed in relief. There atop of the rock stood a tall figure with a wooden staff in his hands.

"Who's that?" Tom asked.

"No idea." the cook replied.

"Can we eat 'im too?" The last troll asked.

Gandalf slammed the bottom of his staff down, breaking the rock in two. As the light flooded the clearing, Kali was blinded, but heard yelps of pain coming from the trolls. When she regained her vision, she gaped at the now stone trolls. After a moment of silence, the company burst into cheers.

Thank Mahal for the wizard Kali thought as she cheered with the rest of the company.

 **hiiiii! Sorry it took so long to update. The _master of troll snot_ line belongs to TolkienGeek1, as I said above. This author writes the most adorable brother-sister stories between Fili, Kili, and her OC Brynn. Go read them (please)!**

 **Please read and review and again, I am looking for any ideas for future chapters! Byeeee;)**


	6. Chapter 6

She had a mixture of emotions when Gandalf helped the dwarves out of their bags. She was obviously relieved that she wasn't troll chow, but there was also a feeling of dread that she couldn't explain.

Someone's hands were suddenly under her armpits and Kali was lifted off the ground. When she was put back on the ground, she turned around to see her oldest brother smirking at her.

"How long does it take to warn 13 dwarves about trolls?" She asked. He only shrugged his shoulders.

"Master of troll snot?" He asked trying not to laugh. Kali snickered.

"It was good right?" She asked. Fili nodded. Kali then turned serious. "I should probably apologize to Bilbo."

"I'm sure he'll forgive you." Fili reassured. Then he turned to the now stone trolls. "These trolls look a bit like Kili, don't you think?"

"Oi!" Kili yelled from somewhere by the fire. Kali giggled.

"Who are you insulting? Him or the troll?" She asked innocently before she and her brother both started laughing. The second dwarf prince crossed his arms like a two-year-old but was smirking none the less.

"Fili, Kili, Kali," Thorin called. The trio immediately stopped laughing. "Come on. The trolls must have a cave nearby." The three of them let out a sigh of relief as he turned to follow Gandalf. "Later you can explain how three trolls got past you." He called back. The trio groaned. That was going to be fun.

Kali and her brothers trailed behind the rest of the company. Finding the cave wasn't hard, they just had to follow their noses. The smell got fouler as they got closer to the cave. During that time, Kali caught up with Bilbo.

"Good thinking with the stalling." She commented.

"Thanks." He replied.

"I'm sorry about the master of troll snot."

"It's fine." Bilbo said, looking her in the eye. "I probably would have done something similar." Kali didn't fail to notice the small smile on the hobbits face. She knew he forgave her. After that, the two remained silent. It wasn't an awkward silence, more like a comfortable silence, like the kind you'd have with a friend or family.

The group finally came across the troll horde. The fetid smell seeping from the cave made Kali want to empty her stomach. To put it lightly, it smelled like rotting corpses and dead fish mixed in with excrement and vomit. But it seemed familiar in a way.

There was something about the cave that drew her in. She couldn't explain it. Part of her was telling her to avoid the cave (mainly because of the smell), but the other part was telling her the complete opposite.

"Oi, miss Kali," someone said, ending the debate in her head. It was Bofur. "You coming?"

"Yes, I'm coming." Kali replied, hastily moving to the cave. If she thought it was bad outside the cave, the inside was a thousand times worst. She fought to control her stomach.

Glancing around the cave, the blood drained from Kali's face. This was the cave she had seen in her dream.

 **Ok so I know this chapter is shorter than others, but I really wanted the suspense at the end. Don't forget to rr and leave chapter ideas. Byeeee!**


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